Pawprints

Pawprints          Jay Dancing Bear

Contents

Secretions
I understand
Andrew Molera State Park
Ghost
Demanding Perfection

Being Here Now
Where is peace, pt. 2
Emotional Roller Coaster
Insomnia

Uncle Jay’s Advice , Part 1
Uncle Jay’s Advice, Part 2
Uncle Jay’s Advice, Part 3

Life
Judge Me
My Self Image
Let’s be real
What I am good for and what I am not
The Goddess Speaks
Hungry Cat

nothing special

nothing special

everything special
__________________________________________

 

Secretions

Life is an inherently messy process
People sweat, cry, bleed, come
childbirth and death, do you think they are neat?

if you killed every germ in your body you’d be dead

when you wash the dishes, sterilizing them so nicely
do you think about the toxic chemicals in the dish soap
soap which doesn’t rinse off very well

You have a body, enjoy it.
Make the best of it

As much as you try to pretend that if you’re not fully in your body you won’t die, well
you will die

so you might as well live

Amin

I understand

I understand staying in bed late in the morning because there really isn’t anything to get up for,
or at least you think there isn’t

I understand that if you do get up,
focus on the birds singing and the sky overhead
even if it’s raining and the sky is gray
there is joy for you in your life
if you will accept it

Andrew Molera State Park

waking up in the morning, going down to the river
see all the pawprints in the sand, the story of the night
where the animals have walked around

now it’s day and the people will stomp around
but
when nighttime comes
the animals will come out

and raid our food if they can

Ghost

I glide around silently
like a ghost
walking around my empty house
no one in it but me
no girlfriend
no roommate

I see myself in the bathroom mirror as I go in to pee
Learning to be alone
by being alone

Demanding Perfection

Demanding perfection of the world
the world is perfect
but not by human standards

our minds are troubled
so many shoulds and shouldn’ts
problems to solve
things that need changing
still

the flowers are very beautiful today
and timelessness exists
only in this moment

Being Here Now

Being here now is rather easy
on the road
where it’s all new and exciting

being here now is not so easy
at home
with the phone ringing and bills to pay

Where is peace? pt. 2

My room
I clean it up
it gets messy again

My kitchen
I wash the dishes, I eat
more dishes to wash

My body
I get in shape
enjoy life a bit
all of a sudden
out of shape again

My life
I solve the problems of the moment
Have a cup of coffee
and
another bill in the mail
another fender bender
something or other
So

I guess what my question is, is

where is peace ?
how can it last?

Emotional Roller Coaster

On an emotional roller coaster
today was a good day
today was a terrible day
Business is great
business sucks

Behind all the events and the feelings they trigger
what is eternal?
What can I count on?

So many ups and downs
it’s almost as exhausting going up as coming down

maybe I’ll just find a quiet cave to rest
watch myself ride through the valleys and peaks,
crests, troughs
rise at 4 AM, eat an apple, do practices, bathe, work,
eat at 11AM, rest, work, do practices, go to sleep at 9
a zen center of a life

here in this world
with all the whirling madness of distractions
even so, I will cleave to my center as best I can

So be it

Insomnia

Shadows on the wall in the middle of the night
coffee drunk too late keeps me awake
across the street the school is lit up brightly

Heat on, living room warm
Books piled high
TV off
Letters half written
Food consumed
Bed waiting

Amin

Uncle Jay’s Advice, part1

so you’re looking for a woman

look for a woman who likes to eat
women who like to eat like to fuck
a woman who picks daintily at her food
will not fuck you as much
as a woman who enjoys the sensual side of life
a woman who likes to sweat

also, a woman who likes to eat is more likely to enjoy cooking at home, with the bedroom very close
and the floor much closer

remember, it’s a much shorter distance
from the kitchen to the bedroom
than from the restaurant to the bedroom
and you really don’t want to wait
do you?

Uncle Jay’s Advice, part 2

So you’re looking for a woman

A woman who needs to be impressed
probably has a low self esteem
or else is an egotist
either way, not worth the trouble

A woman with heart
will want you for you, not your tinsel
that woman is worth being with

Uncle Jay’s Advice, part 3

So you want a woman

Learn to touch
learn to feel
learn to laugh
learn to breathe
learn to listen
learn to love

even if you don’t look like much
have no money, no car
women will still be attracted
even if they don’t know why

Life

Is Life a joy to be lived
or a problem to be solved
a series of dangerous reefs to be navigated
with no rest, only more dangerous reefs
knowing always that at some point
all our boats will sink and all aboard will be lost

the hand on the tiller
is it our hand
or a great unseen hand

where are we going, or trying to go
what will we find
if we get there

does life love us
do we love life
or is it all chaos and broken hearts
in the midst of an uncaring machine
or worse

is life an unexcelled torture chamber
God the master torturer
hooded, dressed in black
whip in one hand, branding iron in the other
our purpose
to suffer for his amusement
the little snatches of joy in our life just teasers
just enough to keep us going
so that me may suffer more, and more
in this veil of tears

it has been said
the everyday perception and the mystic perception
are different
and the surest sign of the presence of god
is joy

is the glass half empty or half full

even if there are only a few drops
do we enjoy them
in a timeless, peaceful state
which is beyond a doubt
available to us
if only we train ourselves to access it
bliss in every moment

what fools we seem, but blissful
deluded, no,
just happy for no reason at all
resting in the lotus of the heart
the connection to the heart of love which is
the heart of the universe

Amin

Judge me

Please judge me
be my authority

so I know how I’m doing

my self image

my self image took a beating last night
I won’t tell you the details but
it was bad

still, life goes on

Let’s Be Real

Today I made progress
of course that was in comparison to yesterday when I
and twenty years ago when I
and of course in my last lifetime I

profit and loss
gain and backsliding
what a scam
what a way to keep off balance
always uncertain
so fucking what about comparisons

today is today
now is now
it’s the only time we’re real
so let’s not be ghosts
let’s be real

What I am good for and what I am not

I am a lover, a poet, a musician

I will sing to you
give you wonderful orgasms
listen compassionately and with deep understanding
eat your food
leave rings in your bathtub
I have little money

I will introduce you to lands of the spirit
read to you from books of wisdom
and speak truth

I am messy
want a lot of sex
sleep late

I am terrified of being “tied down”
I will hold back my emotions
run at the first opportunity
we are together because you are this way also

Let us enjoy each other for a while, then part friends

Amin

The Goddess Speaks

I have come from the deep dark forest
walking along sunlit trails
to bring you a gift

may your hair redden and burn with passion for me
your fingers touch and caress me
may your eyes fill with the wonders of my breasts
your nose with my scent
may your lips sing to me songs of praise

I am the goddess, your goddess
worship me
according to the sacred rites of love
according to your nature

Do you love knowledge
read to me
do you love art
paint me
do you love pleasure
pleasure me

whatever it is you love
in whatever manner
express that love
offer this to me
I will reward you

I open myself to you
if you come with love
I nurture you
if you love
I teach you
if you learn with love
I heal you
if you come with love
do not be afraid of me
if you come with love

I will not reject
your hungry cock
which enters me
your thirsty lips
which fit themselves to my nipples
and give suck

I embrace you, do not be afraid
if you come
with love

Hungry Cat

The form of the world is sometimes beautiful
sometimes hideous
and
I am sometimes inspired
sometimes stupid

you, my friend
who are you?
are you a figment of my imagination?
have I created you as part of my reality?
the pleasure or pain thatI say you bring to me

that great fuck last night
that terrible fight last week
the government, death, taxes, organic gardens
_________(fill in the blanks)

the cat is hungry
i need to go now
goodbye
i’ll see you again